"The Hills" is a faux MTV reality show that takes us inside the Laguna Beach lives of Lauren, Audrina, Whitney, Lo and Speidi, the Heidi/Spencer monstrosity that earns millions for absolutely no good reason...

"The Hills" may be off-screen for now, but the drama is percolating as I type.

MTV's mock reality series wrapped its third season May 12, yet what's going on in the stars' actual lives is making the headlines.

Show epicenter is Lauren Conrad, a struggling wanna be fashion designer, and her pal Lo Bosworth who are allegedly dodging T&A queen, the perpetually orange Audrina Patridge they reportedly want out of their domicile.

Audrina was once tight as a tick with Lauren, but that dynamic has altered.

Heidi Montag, 21, and Spencer Pratt, 24, reunite in Las Vegas after being on a "relationship vacation" for most of the season; together they find more money rolls in if they are a package deal for appearance fees.

Season four promises that Whitney Port is being primed for her own possible spin-off series, Whitney's PR worldwide domination, New York style.

The show is MTV's cash cow, and its fans are in a lather about the latest Audrina and Lauren birthday party bad blood, and the what for. 

Bets are still on that Heidi's going to string her "engagement" to Spencer until they get their own show sealed.

All this news hinged on the fateful Audrina Patridge 23rd Birthday soiree that excluded once BFF Lauren Conrad and Lo Bosworth.

Allegedly Audrina sleeps in a guesthouse of Lauren's home.  According to In Touch, the roommates celebrated her birthday earlier in May at an L.A. barbecue joint..

Then there is TMZ.com theory that Audrina and Lauren's schism was caused by dim Justin-Bobby (Audrina's squeeze), and that Lauren loathes the fellow.

Audrina had told Us Weekly magazine that Heidi and Spencer aren't ready to tie the knot. "I think she's still young, and I just feel like she shouldn't get married right away," she had said.

Allegations of Lauren's usage of fake Norwegian hair erupt in the tabloid media; fingers start to point to the possible source. 

The coup de grace was the Orange County's OC Register tidbit that at a Newport Beach bowling alley, Lauren and Audrina bowled in different zip codes from each other inside the building.